Module 2 Blog: Taking Someone to Lunch

         I enjoyed the TED Talk with Elizabeth Lesser.  This will be my only political comment.  The talk happened in 2010 and it could very well be used now with the current political environment.  I agree with her “take the other to lunch” initiative.  I have used this myself and has been very helpful.  As an Air Force drill instructor, there were no listen to the other side.  My other side were trainees and I had all the answers.  Everything that happened with my flights were my rules, my ideas, and my techniques.  The other instructors that helped understood the Team Chief title and what went with it no questions asked.  After my time as an instructor, I returned to a unit where there were going to be others that would disagree with me.  I decided early on to listen first, acknowledge the positives, and let the others point out the drawbacks of their decision.  I found that trust was quickly exchanged when you listen and point out the good things that they are passionate about.  When it was my turn to speak, I didn’t ask question after question about what I thought was wrong, I simply threw out an open-ended question from my point of view.

 I have learned and still learning that some people don’t try to think from another perspective.  Plus, conversations are better one-on-one than with crowds.  Now, it seems like nobody wants to get to know anyone.  I believe starting conversations off with general information about each other would ease tensions or anxiety.  When I have a conversation with someone that I know I will disagree with, I start the conversation by letting them speak.  Then I try to get to the root of their decision or way of thinking.  When that happens, both parties can discuss what sparked the decision and the work their way up to an agreement.  It doesn’t always in an agreement or change in views, but for the most part respect and a greater understanding is taken from that conversation. 

The value with talking with the other is learning where you come up short.  In the political environment we are in now, we are stubborn don’t want to give an inch to the “other side.”  However, a lot can be gained by just listening and trying to understand.  And yes, sometimes you are wrong or didn’t have all the information.  That is what being an adult should be about, learning from others and making yourself a better person.  When I had conversations with others, we broke down the information.  Most of the time it wasn’t the information, but an external factor that drove different decisions or thoughts.  Once we looked at the information, everything became clearer. 

            Currently, I worked with someone that is on the opposite political side that I am on.  Work is great and we don’t discuss political topics.  We are not there to change each other, but get the work done.  Our relationship is great because we know boundaries.  When it comes down to it, I believe 98% of us want the same things in life.